Until we can speak our sacred No and
hold that boundary-
There is no sacred ‘yes’
This December I went deep into the victim/perpetrator story.
I was shaken by the news that hundreds of women were speaking up about sexual misconduct with the world famous healer from Brazil- John of God.
On one hand it was nothing new- just another spiritual teacher who was inappropriate with his students- this story gets told almost weekly in the circles I’m in. Whether it’s a shaman, a yoga teacher, a healer, a guru- I’ve heard many stories of the “Man in authority” and the woman seeking clarity and guidance- and the man manipulating her and taking her energy. This pattern repeats over and over- probably thousands of times each day on this planet. And of course it can go the other way- I have a friend who likes to point out that woman in power can and do also misuse their power as well.
But this time- I was struck with the impact of the pain on an even deeper level of sexual abuse trauma in our culture.
I decided to do some investigation. I wanted to hear from my fellow sisters, light workers, healers, and yogis. I started reaching out to sisters in the communities I’m in and asking them how they felt about the news that John of God may be a sexual predator.
I asked them about how that makes them feel.
I asked them about the relationships they have had with men in power in their life.
I asked to hear their story.
I opened the dialog with my brothers and my sisters. I called my peers, friends and colleagues.
What are your boundaries with sexual energy?
How do you manage the energy?
Have you felt violated in the past?
Have you ever pushed your energy on someone else?
Sexual abuse energy is a toxic cancer infesting our world.
It latches on to people- burrowing into their souls and slowly consuming their energy.
It grows and grows until it destroys its host- which once was an innocent and open human being- who now carries the imprint of the pain and trauma of the sexual abuse within their body.
How do you feel about the fact that this famous healer has been misusing his power with hundreds of woman?
I spoke with a woman who had almost the exact same thing happen to her as some of the women’s’ accounts. She was 22- living in LA and somehow ended up naked to her underwear in front of an Indian “guru” who claimed to be healing her sexual trauma and wanting her to touch his penis.
I kid you not- the stories are outrageous.
Sexual abuse energy is rampant in our culture and our world today.
The fact that just about every single woman i know has her own version of misconduct with men and violations is heartbreaking
This disease of sexual predation and misconduct is a cancerous demon that is destroying the spirits of many.
Boundaries,
Boundaries,
Boundaries
It’s always fucking BOUNDARIES
What are your boundaries?
How do you keep those boundaries?
Living in CA near LA and being in the ‘spiritual scene’ I can assure you that most of the self proclaimed gurus are charlotians and frauds.
The true wisdom keepers are not posting how great they are on Instagram and gaining followers through Youtube.
And at the same time- there are lots of people out there that are helping to raise the vibration of this planet.
I know people who have personally benefited from the healings of John of God. He has been an incredible guide, teacher and healer for many.
He has done a lot of beneficial work to help people in this lifetime.
And here is where it gets messy
How can we hold space for the gifted connection that some people have cultivated through their relationship with the Divine. For their ability to tap into flow and move energy. To help others clear their path for self awareness and connection to Source.
And also hold space for the fact that these same gifted healers are also human beings and they all have their own shadows, wounds and traumas from the past that they still carry. These healers can do amazing and wonderful things- and they can also imprint an incredible amount of trauma on others.
This is where it is painful.
To honor and love someone for their gifts- and to hold them accountable for their misconduct.
We must be able to see clearly who they really are,
what pains they are carrying and
how they are using their power.
Are they acting from their wounding and stealing life force from others?
We must be able to protect ourselves against these violations.
We must be able to see through the illusion and tap into the truth.
We must be able to hold our boundaries,
speak our truth and
protect ourselves from violating energies.
One may ask the question to these women who have spoken up – why did you wait so long to come forward with these horrific truths? Women who may have tried to stay in the community- feeling stuck and hoping that they can gain from the positive aspects of the person while still holding their boundary even stronger in atempts to protect themselves. The women who were afraid of letting go of their jobs, their communities, their teachers, their support networks. Women who thought they could help heal the situation and ‘make it right’.
I have so much love and compassion for both sides of the story.
The perpetrators are suffering deeply in their lives.
They were once the victim and now they are being ruled by this toxic energy- it is not who they really are.
The victims have all been perpetrators to others on some level- maybe no where near the severity- but on some level- we are all the victims and we are all the perpetrators. We dance around the triangle trying to heal these wounds and patterns.
I don’t believe anyone is inherently a “bad” person. I believe in the goodness of humanity. I am however, aware that some people have become puppets to seriously toxic and destructive energies. They have become hosts to this evil manipulating energy that has taken over their body and soul on certain levels.
We must be able to talk about the elephant in the room.
We must be able to call the kettle black when it is fucking black.
If you are a woman in a sticky situation- please find guidance and protection from your safe networks. If you are trying to stay in a job, community, situation where there is sexual energy exchange and the other person is not willing to talk about it- get the fuck out.
If someone will not own up to their actions on all levels- physically, spiritually, emotionally and psychically then it is not safe to be around them.
We must speak our truth,
we must be able to have open hearted dialog.
There is no shaming-
there is no blaming.
There is only LOVE.
And if we can ALL- you, me, and every fucking person on this planet-
take full and complete ownership of our energy-
only then will true, lasting, healing occur.
We get to look at how we hold our energy.
How we exchange with others and
where our boundaries are.
Clean your boundaries,
connect with your energy,
anchor your truth into you.
You are LOVE and
you are loveable.
Together we can heal this planet
Together we will RIse
We must speak our truth
We must communicate with open hearts
We must be honest with ourselves and others
There is no other way
We get to create healthy relationships
With ALL our relations
In love and service,
Ali