When I have clear boundaries, I am able to identify what is my energy, and what is not. This is fundamental to being healthy and happy. When I have weak boundaries, I can take on other people’s pain, anger, depression and sadness.
Boundaries are a challenge for nearly every person. It is something that we face on a minute-to-minute basis of our existence. Every minute of the day we are faced with boundaries with our physical self, our personal possessions, and our thoughts. Learning to have clear firm boundaries I believe is essential for thriving as a human being.
There are subtler violations that cannot be proven but people usually can feel them when they happen. Such as, he touched me inappropriately, or she was inappropriately seducing me, or he is being creepy. We all know that feeling in our gut when we see or experience those things.
Now can you image your energy field as an extension of your body, a space a few inches around your physical body that is your personal space. We all know that feeling when a person is standing to close to us, or it just feels weird that they sat down so close to us. They are entering your person space that is an energy field around you.
So what about boundaries with our minds. How many people think about their boundaries with their thoughts? Do you let yourself go into negative thinking? Do you sit on your pity pot at times and complain, “why me?” We all do this at times. What if that is a personal violation of our mental boundaries. We are allowing our minds to indulge in negative thinking, promoting and creating negative energy. If we want to align ourselves with the light, and be the Divine, then we need to acknowledge that those negative thoughts are not helping us, or the planet. We can set a boundary in our mind and try to adhere to that boundary so as not to promote negative things in the world.
So if you can send someone “love and light,” can you send them negative attacks? Absolutely not. This would be promoting negative or dark energy in the world. This is similar to the boundary that you set in your own mind with negative thoughts. It is just the same when thinking of others. If you have a difficulty with a person, you can still send them love. You can ask for guidance and healing in you and in them to help resolve the situation. But, it is very important for your own karma and theirs not to succumb to the temptation of sending them negative energy. What goes around comes around. So if you start flinging negative vibes at people, it will eventually come back to you.
So lets say you start to feel energy that is not yours. What do you do? You ask it, is this mine? If the answer is no, then the easiest and simplest thing to do is clear the energy out of your energetic field. If you want to go deeper, you can ask, “Who are you?” Sometimes you can get a response to this. It’s mom, it’s your brother, your friend, etc. Well at that point you can decide whether or not you want to exchange with that energy. Maybe your mom had just been thinking of you and was sending you a hug and you can let that energy in. Maybe your brother was upset that you were not going to visit and was sending you negative thoughts and you don’t want to let that energy in. You have the free will to decide, which energies you let in, when you let them in, and how you let them in.
So what if you are the one sending those thoughts or energies to someone else? What is the protocol for that? You must declare yourself. You must ask permission. You cannot go entering someone’s energetic space without being invited in! If you want to send them love and awareness, simply ask. For example, “Hello Sue, this is your sister, do I have your permission to send you some love. I was thinking about you and would like to help you with that problem we talked about earlier.” If the other person invites you in, then you can exchange with them.
What if you want someone to do something? Can you ask and pray for example “God make my brother move here because I want to live near him.” If you were to send out those prayers that would be impeding on his free will. You cannot make or force anyone to do anything. You must allow them to have their free will to choose. So if you wanted that, you can prayer, “if it is in my brother’s best interest, I would love to have him near me,” something like that. This is a very important lesson to learn. Otherwise you can end up in a battle of wills with people, you can end up creating suffering because a soul was not ready for that and your prayers were so strong that they influenced something to happen. One must always honor and respect the free will of others to choose.
If ever you feel that you have a boundary being violated, you can look at your role in the situation. Maybe there is a lesson for you to learn. Maybe this is a pattern that needs healing. How was your behavior helping to create that situation? How have you acted in order to rectify the situation? Are you being clear with yourself and others about your boundaries on a physical, emotional, spiritual level? We can not change how other people act, but we can change how we respond to it, and we can choose to engage with it or not. So I suggest putting some love into that situation.
First, have compassion for yourself. Forgive yourself. Then have compassion for the other person. Can you see the good within them? Can you forgive them? Use it as an opportunity to grow and learn.
So I encourage you to spend a minute and look within. Take this time to do some house cleaning. Where are your boundaries strong, and where are they weak. Can you send some reinforcements to the areas where they are weak? Get in touch with your self, your energy and your boundaries. I can assure you that the more you are aware of your energy and your boundaries, the happier you will be!